House of cards

Day 45

Artist: Radio Head

Genre: Alternative Rock

Album:In Rainbows

Released: 2007



I don't wanna be your friend
I just want to be your lover
No matter how it ends
No matter how it starts

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll deal mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll deal mine

Fall off the table,
Get swept under
Denial, denial

The infrastructure will collapse
Voltage spikes
Throw your keys in the bowl

Kiss your husband goodnight

Forget about your house of cards
And I'll deal mine
Forget about your house of cards
And I'll deal mine

Fall off the table,
And get swept under

Denial, denial
Denial, denial
Your ears should be burning
Denial, denial
Your ears should be burning
Denial, denial



I like this English group Radio Head moderately. I enjoy a great deal of they're songs, but this one calls to me. It might be the rhythmic strum of the guitar, or the echoing vocals in the intro. Plus the vocals are pretty sweet through out as well. The album came out in late 2007, & this song was popular in the first half of 2008.

During this time, I was newly married & pregnant with my son, Aiden. I worked for a family of four taking care of their children. This was great because my daughter could come with me, no need for childcare. In the afternoons, another nanny helped out in the afternoons, which could be crazy due to school pick-ups & activities, plus any extra outings I had planned for the week. It was certainly nice to have adult conversations with some one close to my age in the afternoons. I really did have the best job.

I left my job in June of 2008, preparing to have my son in August. We spent the last day at the zoo. Bitter Sweet memories. The first day of my "New life" was spent in my home-town of Dallas, Oregon at my Mothers surprise 50th birthday party. Later that afternoon, I was set to attend a friends graduation BBQ in Corvallis. I left my daughter with my mom & hit the road. While on the HWY, this song came on.

"House of cards" on it's own had always made me think of driving on a long bare HWY in the middle of a desert. The song feels isolating, it echoes, & leaves me pondering deep thoughts. It was perfect for this particular moment. As I drove down the road by myself in the heat of the summer, the music playing in the background, a big thought hit me. What now? It's just me, & the road of life ahead of me. I had no idea what lie ahead. Nothing was planned for after I had my son. When would I return to work? What would I do? Would I return to work? That road with this song then became a great big metaphor. It was scary, but I have to admit-- I was very excited about the possibilities.

This song will forever make me think of that moment. What about you?